Staring Role
by twoheartsx
Summary: Kanon always told himself that he didn't say anything or do anything because this is what it meant to be in love. Rated M for mentions of abuses and implied noncon.


Staring role

It hurt, but not enough for him to be brought to tears. He could feel his skin bruising, under those harsh fingers. Bruises on top of bruises. Black and blue looked lovely on him. Those words whispered in a tone that could be considered soft. Loving if that was even a way to look at it. This is what it means to love a prince. Kanon repeated these words, told himself this was how it should be. He was Schneizel's right hand man, his personal assistant, public and privet. He had said that once. Thought it seemed joking the depth of it was much deeper. He wasn't joking. He remembered when he had first met the prince. He was mistook for a young women. Schneizel had tried to convince Kanon to spend the night with him. Kanon was no fool and had seen noblemen before. He knew Schneizel's intentions. Before he could tell the young prince about him not being female the blond had already taken his hand, guiding him to a privet room. He knew that if Schneizel found out he tricked him he would be beaten. When they got to the room he felt the princes hand slide down his lower back. Before he could get a word out the prince got close, whispering to him softly. "I know it's you Kanon. You are in the same school as me right?" Kanon just nodded his head. He figured the prince would find him strange or even disgusting to be dressed so famine. He was expecting to be backhanded for not even giving a proper answer. He was surprised when he was pinned to the wall. The princes lips against his. "I can make your life so much better if you are loyal to me." Kanon blushed. He had been eyeing the prince for quite sometime. He had taken a liking to him, maybe even developing a crush on him. In the end he could do nothing but agree. He spent the night a moaning mess in the princes arms. Over time he learned the prince liked to show control in all things. He loved to leave bruises. A mark, his mark. Kanon wore it proudly. He was blessed to be by Schneizel's side. He told himself that over and over. Repeating it in his head til it was burned into his brain.

Kanon also learned Schneizel couldn't keep his hands to himself. The prince was a true player. Many times Kanon found Schneizel in bed with other men and even women. Kanon was heart broke at first, but told himself that if he loved Schneizel then he wouldn't stop him from doing what he wanted. No one was getting hurt so why stop him? Plus, what could he do? Even if he spoke out about the abuse no one would believe him. They would push anything Schneizel did off and look away because he is a prince. The emperor would cover up everything. The abuse, the affairs, the lies, everything would be covered up. Kanon would look like a liar. A liar and a freak. He would be seen as a freak who loves dressing up like a girl. He would be judged, shunned. People would say he deserves the abuse. He knew he deserved it or Schneizel wouldn't do it. Schneizel was a good man. Kanon told himself this. He knew he would never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it or so he thought.

They were at a party in Europe. Kanon wanted to punch someone. He was annoyed because Schneizel had spent the majority of the night hitting on the new military adviser. Julius Kingsley was his name and he was kind of good looking. Kanon had to admit that much. It still irked him endlessly that his prince was hitting so hard on this guy. Kanon left to use the bathroom. When he reached the bathroom tears streamed down his face. The eyeliner his had barely applied earlier running down his face. Was this what it meant to be in love? He long ago told himself he could do no better. He deserved this. He pulled himself together, getting his tears to stop and reapplied his eyeliner. He left the bathroom, returning to his princes side. When he got back he found Schneizel taking a drunken Julius to his room. Kanon's eyes widened following him. When they got to the room he noticed that Julius was so out of it that he couldn't even walk. Kanon grabbed Schneizel's hand when the blond reached to start removing the passed out mans clothing. "This is wrong he isn't even coherent." Kanon said. He felt the princes fist meet his jaw. He whimpered, falling on his butt. In that moment, while he lied on the foor in tears, covered in bruises. Kanon finally realized that even if he loved Schneizel, even if he was a prince. He still was cruel. He was in love with a cruel, sadistic man. A man who he would never be the center of his world because no one could be. He was a side entertainment. The most he would ever be is Schneizel's favorite entertainment. He would just learn to live with this fact because their was nothing he could do to change it.


End file.
